Resolutions, goals, affirmations…however you choose to categorize them they all signify a desire to affect change in our lives right? I have witnessed a lot of hate on the concept of “resolutions” but tomato, tomato…at the end of the day we all have an innate desire to do better and be better.
One day I woke up with an idea: I needed to take my 2019 by the horns and wrangle it into submission. I needed to get smart and get serious about all the little ideas floating around in this head of mine and quick!
My peers and I all embarked on our 40th year with gusto and while we brought our birthdays in with a bang and still look pretty damn good for our ages, I can admit that as 41 approaches, the reality of heading on over that proverbial hill is a real live breathing scary AF thing. And so I have work to do.
I didn’t want to approach these plans with anything short of real discipline and I knew it required an accountability partner. Its one thing to hunker down with yourself but having to report back to someone on your progress definitely helps to keep you on your shit, at least for me. Enter “Tea & Intentions”.
The saying goes “Motivation Gets You Started, Habit Keeps You Going” and we know it takes at least 18-21 days to form a new habit. During January every single week, mostly on the same day(weather permitting) around the same time, my accountability partner and I would take our same worksheets (will link below) and head to the same location to work through our same intentions.
Calabash Tea & Tonic is a black female owned establishment located in the Shaw neighborhood of D.C. I had been following Dr. Sunyatta Amen since my 20s when I first took an interest in the art of belly dance and holistic living so I was familiar with the location. I had been before and knew it would be the perfect spot for us to hone in on our desires and manifest the positive change we wanted. I will admit I had this grand idea to try different black owned spots in DC because everything I saw while watching the Netflix doc by Killer Mike ‘Trigger Warning’ sunk in. I wanted to support black owned business and sow into them the way I would like my own ventures to be supported, however Calabash feels the most comfortable for us, just personal preference. You know you are in the right place when you are greeted with a genuine smile and asked “How can we heal you today?”
We decided to approach ‘Tea & Intentions’ with the clearest minds and hearts possible. For us that meant zero alcohol which proved to be a very successful endeavor; for me it meant healthier habits physically (did I mention that Calabash is vegan friendly?), mentally and emotionally. We both made conscious little efforts to change our habits and the payoffs were instant. We just really paid close attention to what affected us and either embraced those that helped or ignored those that didn’t and were honest with each other about how to be successful in both.
We made it through our first month and of course there were challenges but I can honestly say that we have been at LEAST 90% successful. Those results vary from opportunities to financial so the power of manifestation is indeed real folks. Because we have been having such great success I wanted to share some tips in the hopes that it could also help some of you. I promise they are simple to implement but remember that consistency is key.
- write down your goals, record them in your voice saying “I am” or “I have” – use present tense language (use our voice recorder on your phone & listen to your list every night before bed . Say it like it is already done. Here is the worksheet we use.
- Practice mindful thinking – no more “I Cant” when the negative pops up change it to a positive. i.e. I really love the layout of this site, let me look around for inspiration instead of I can’t afford to make my site look like these other bloggers. Stay positive. You may not have the budget today but you may tomorrow, in 6 months or in a year.
- Do your homework. Instead of asking someone for the answers, research it yourself. You will not only get your answer but will learn much more than you initially were looking for. Trust me.
- Be consistent. You can’t make money or be successful in something that you work at half-assed.
- Be transparent in your actions and emotions with others but simultaneously be receptive to how others are affected.
- Don’t give up! You will be surprised at how fast you see results. Again, consistency is key. If you work on it for 30 minutes because thats the only time you have that day, that is better than giving up because you don’t have two hours to work on it. Use those 30 minutes to bang it out!
- Know your worth, then add 20% to it! If you don’t believe in yourself, nobody will.
- Use your fear to propel you.
- Exercise your power of no. If you are truly uncomfortable with something do not do it. You cannot worry about disappointing people if you are doing a disservice to yourself. Your diet is not only what you eat – what you watch, listen to, read, people you hang around – all of these things affect your emotionally, spiritually and physically. If it is not part of the vision you have for yourself, be ok with saying no.
- Find an accountability partner! Someone who will be honest with you and check in with you regularly and who will do the work WITH you. It’s one thing to have someone telling you what to do but when you both have goals that you are working towards its a different animal altogether. I feel you take it more serious.
Again, both my accountability partner and I have done these things and it has paid off…literally. We definitely still have work to do and at time it gets overwhelming but we stick with it. There have been days we have been frustrated with each other or with life in general but guess what? We show up anyway and always leave better for it.
How did you maximize your January 2019? Did you formulate any new positive habits? Did you kick any negative habits to the curb? What are your manifestation/intention habits? Let me know!