If February wasn’t such a peculiar mark on the calendar, today (being the last day) would signify a month until my birthday…and honestly, I don’t know how to feel about it.
This year I do not have any set plans in place, just a few ideas and because I made it a point to celebrate my milestone last year, all of a sudden I woke up today with a question mark over my head. OK so I made it through my first year in the 40s, but now what? What is the significance? Today, I am looking at myself and realizing time is slipping away at a rapid pace and I need to take inventory…
The universe has already set quite a few things in motion for me in terms of my personal relationships as well as where I should go next professionally but being me I hesitate in fully letting go. I know how that sounds and I even went back a few times to delete it but it’s real, and so it remains but allow me to explain.
Its not so much that I doubt my abilities as much as I often take huge leaps of faith with no safety net. Thus far it has worked out but now that I am in this new phase of life, I can’t be too certain that I will be afforded the same success.
My procrastination comes from fear of failure. I have gotten past what others may think about my decisions. As I like to remind myself, those that matter, don’t mind. What I still struggle with is letting myself down and so I tarry a bit too long in fully jumping out there because I want things to be just right.
Thankfully I read a post from one of my favorite motivators, Mattie James, and she spoke of how we hinder ourselves. We are our own worst critics and we don’t take that leap of faith because we want things to be perfect. We hold back not realizing that what we refrain from sharing may be the one thing that someone else needs. I am paraphrasing here but you get the idea. The beauty in that is realizing that we ain’t always the center of attention. MIND BLOWN! How awesome it is to relinquish that mindset and lead with a giving heart.
And so I give you this blog post. The blog post that I started in February of 2018. The blog post that I did not think was good enough to post back then. The blog post that I went back to because Mattie said to stop holding on to content because you don’t think it is perfect. People cant see what you don’t post. This is about rhythm. This is about incorporating routine practices to offer something to others. This is not about your vanity.