…and though you have not seen me much on here, know that I am still around.
But girlllllll, where have you been? WTF have you been doing???!! you may ask. A lot of things… as well as a whole bunch of nothing. As I write this entry I am currently on bed rest.
I know, I know but #ThisIs40+ is mad real. Since we are on the subject, lets just get it out of the way – I have been in pain for a little over two weeks. Long story short it could be complications from my knee or it could be sciatic pain from something else. Hopefully MRI #2 will reveal the culprit and I can return to some semblance of normalcy. I love my new place but being confined to it against my will is not how I envisioned participating in ‘Hot Girl Summer’ – which brings me to…
I moved! To another state! Yes I know, but I am still a stone’s throw from D.C. Though I love the city, I needed a change of pace as well as a lighter load on my wallet. I am close enough to still participate in all things #TourYourTown related but far enough to escape the hustle and bustle when need be. It’s been a while since I was in a proper neighborhood. When I go home I hear no sirens, nobody yelling outside and I can really relax. But back to this ‘Hot Girl Summer’…
It was too fucking hot! You know I change my hair often. I think of my hair as an accessory so its nothing for me to adjust my look to match my mood. Well, when I was approaching 40 I knew I was tired of the ritual required for maintenance on my own hair – hours in the salon, weekly barbershop appointments, awkward sleeping positions to keep it cute, etc. My dream was to cut it and bleach it but then a few people I know did the same thing so I had to hold off a bit.
I finally made my dream a reality and chopped it ALL off…OK not all. I posted the first iteration of my cut on my social media but I took it a step further. When I break out my clippers (yes I cut it myself) I use the 1/2″ guard, that’s one step from not using a guard at all. I tried 2″…then 1″ and I was still having to tie my hair down at night. Nah, later for that. I want to just get up and go. This affords me that luxury. I also bleached it platinum. Grey hairs are also mad real once you hit your 40s and I was not going to keep fighting with them sprouting up around my temples – if you cant beat em, you join em! So now my whole head is white and I love it. I still enjoy changing it up so when I want to throw on a wig I absolutely will (when the temperature drops again) and if you see me just mind your business OK? just mind ya business!
Speaking of hair…I hosted two beauty events this summer. One for my Polished & Pretty venture that I had in June at the Brown Beauty Co-Op and the other was in July for the ‘Black Girl Church’ documentary. It was a lot of work (it was my first time curating events at that scale and securing brand sponsorship) but both were successful and has me craving more…
…as I continue to fight anxiety. Though I accomplished a lot this summer, hell this year, I also missed opportunities when anxiety decided to re-emerge smack in the middle of my business ventures. How do you tell someone you cant make it because anxiety is telling you not to leave the house? I opted to use the “under the weather” reason, which was not a lie, but also not the entire truth. Funny enough, I truly believe that if I had the courage to share why I was unable to fulfill certain engagements it could have been worked into the opportunity somehow but you know hindsight is always crystal clear.
If nothing else, I am a fighter. This summer has shown me that sometimes the ones you expect to show up, wont; while others will show up for you and show TF out; ones you expected to be around for life will be removed forever and ones you try to get rid of will prove to be worth the fight. I am fighting to return to 100% with my health (I really miss running and vow to embrace it sooner rather than later) and I now have help to manage my anxiety. I am back to writing and the success of my events have led to additional opportunities that I cannot wait to bring to fruition and share with you.
And with that said my friends, in the words of the legendary Rakim – “times up, sorry I kept you.”